Jokels

All jokes

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
What did computer call his little son?
What dessert do prisoners eat?
What is the Karate experts favorite beverage?
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Why was the musician arrested?
What is a computer's favorite TV show from the 1990s?
What is a cat having on a humid afternoon?
What do you give Scooby-Doo when he has a fever?
What did Scooby-Doo have to go to the hospital?
What do demon chickens lay?
Did you hear about the tree's new car?
How did the master artist paint the picture?
How do you make a hot dog stand?
What is a pirate's favorite periodic element?
Why did the kid bury their flashlight?
Where do fleas surf?
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
What animal can jump higher than a building?
Why doesn't the skeleton go to parties?
What's green and German?
What's the hardest math class for a cow?
How does a shirt feel when its ironed?
How do you keep someone in suspense?
What do grocery store employees hope to get each year?
What would you call the FLINTSTONES if they were black?
What is a fat person's nightmare?
What does a Jackal (Or Whoopi Goldberg) eat?
Why was the politician impeached for being a Pizza-lover?
Who is worse than Adoph Hitler?
What is the funniest joke in the world?
What's sadder than a gay guy with lockjaw?
Dear Lord, make me a bird so I can?
You see Mr. T walking down your street what do you do?
How many women does Lou Bega need to be happy *according to his hit song MAMBO NUMBER FIVE
Why did Britney Spears refuse to hug her fan?
What did the nutritionist say when his patient asked him if he should eat carbs?
What did John Mayer say when his girlfriend gained too much weight?
What did the nurse say when the transfusion went horribly wrong?
What makes the SPY KIDS different from regular, old kids?
Why is SUPER SMASH BROS. MELEE the best game ever?
Why did the kitten set off an allergic reaction?
What happens when you stop making jokes on a first date?
Did you hear about the fire at the Circus?
What did the unemployed college grad do when he realized he had wasted his life?
How do you know it's time to go to sleep?
What's the funniest thing to order at STEAK AND SHAKE?
Why did the football player let the ball slip through his fingers?
Why did Justin Timberlake buy MYSPACE?
Why did the basketball player change his name?
When did the dog give up being a comedian?
What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Who is worse than Adolph Hitler?
What do bunnies and plums have in common?
What is a boxer's favorite drink?
A woman walked into work one day and climbed a tree.
What did the whale say to the oyster that ate all of the plankton?
How does Lady Gaga like her steak?
What's the difference between an owl and a chicken?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
How many bald fat guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Why did Paris Hilton have sex with a chicken?
What did Jake Gyllenhaal say to his sister on her wedding day?
What's an owl's favorite restaurant?
What's black and white and red all over?
What do you call a poet that died?
What does an alcoholic use to keep his ears warm?
What's the difference between Sarah Palin and a brick?
What is a dubstep fan's favorite sport?
How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What do you call an employee that works as hard as a manager?
Why did Sarah Palin whisper at the pharmacy?
What's the difference between Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston?
How can you tell an email is from Sarah Palin?
What's the difference between mice and men?
When can a newly pregnant mother first expect the baby to move?
What do you call a man that knows everything?
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?
What does customer service have to do with Richard Gere sticking a hamster up his butt?
How can you tell that a man isn't having sex?
How is a musician like a sperm?
Which bird was in Under Siege?
What is a jewish baker's favorite martial art?
Why is oil so offensive?
How do poor carnival folk afford to live?
What's a cool cat?
If there's a stairway to heaven, how to you go down?
Why did a family adopt a grown man?
What's a bird's favorite part of a computer?
Why does cat like computer?
Why can't you trust a computer?
What do British sea monsters eat?
Which software looks but never buys?
Is a hammer useful in math?
What is a ghost's favorite place to swim?
Why did the heiress send her niece when she found her gift closet empty?
Zeroth Rule of Fight Club is....
Why did the student keep calling everyone by his friend's name accidentally?
What's better than protein?
What does the alphabet use to cut wood?
What game do kids play during recess these days?
What's a mathemetician's favorite day of the week?
Why does Sarah Palin never worry about getting into a car accident?
Why did the 18th century prisoner not believe the guard?
Why did the two old friends stay for so long at the steakhouse?
Why does Sarah Palin always have her press conferences just before lunch?
When Sarah Palin got a paper cut, why did she hold her watch up to it?
What was the dog food company's incredibly inappropriate slogan?
What's the best way to get rid of gnats?
How many characters from the hit show Glee does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What's a pirate's favorite Greek American syndicated collumnist and editor?
What kind of balloon animal did the sex clown make with an inflated condom?
How did the fisherman from the North American Great Lakes identify the fish without even looking at it?
What do you get when you cross a computer with an icy road?
Why is a computer so bad at tennis?
What's the deal with airplane food?
What gets the job of an interrogation done better than the old "Good Cop / Bad Cop" routine?
Why did the eleph marry the ant?
WHAT'S A ZOMBIE WEIGHTLIFTER'S FAVORITE THING TO DO AT THE GYM?
Why did the weight-lifter visit the spinal injury ward?
Why is Cinderella so bad at basketball?
How does the man in the moon eat his food?
Why was the periodic table so lonely?
Why were the noble gases afraid of the periodic table?
Why is the periodic table a bad babysitter?
What is methane's favorite thing to cook in?
There are 10 flies on the table. You kill 2. How many are left?
What's a nazi's least favorite month?
What is a gamefish's favorite sport?
What did linux say to windows?
What's funnier then a dead baby?
Your head is so big...
What's an Alien's favorite way to drink tea?
Why was Bill Clinton elected President?
What did the mexican name his two vacuum cleaner attachments?
What type of pitch did the hamburger use to strike out the hot dog?
What is the most that a pirate is willing to pay for corn?
Why did everyone like the mushroom so much?
What was the stick's favorite high school math class?
Why is Monica Lewinsky excited about 2012?
Why did the balloon decide not to throw a party?
How many fraternity guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What is the only flight carrier that the she-male said she would fly with?
What is worse than not sending your kids to college?
What do you call a hick who likes jokels?
Why didn't I buy a can of Ravioli's from the gas station?
Why doesn't computer need Febreeze?
How did keyboard get out of prison?
What does a 2x4 do for fun?
What is a ghost's favorite 1972 song by R&B/soul group The Main Ingredient?
What kind of jacket should you wear to a forrest fire?
What is a zombie's favorite song by the Cranberries?
Why didn't the talented musician make it big?
What computer key is most used after Christmas?
What is an abusive husband's favorite computer key?
What is keyboard's favorite soda?
What is a General's favorite computer key?
What is Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz's favorite computer key?
What is race car driver's favorite computer key?
What is astronaut's favorite computer key?
What computer key does returning astronaut always press?
What is Olympic sprinter's favorite computer key?
Would you rather be Superman or Optimus Prime?
What is monster's favorite song?
What is Michael J Fox's favorite fast food restaurant?
What is Stevie Wonder's favorite 90's grunge band?
Who is the rabbit's favorite comedian?
What is the zombie's favorite reality show?
How does yarn reconcile quantum mechanics and general relativity?
What did Princess Di do?
What does the alphabet bring to the basketball game?
What does the alphabet ask all the time?
What does the alphabet say as a greeting?
What is a heroin addict's favorite computer key?
What is a race car driver's other favorite computer key?
What is a wizard's favorite computer key to use when he's trying to keep somebody from reading his roll of parchment???
What is a pornographer's favorite computer key?
Which computer keys does a gambler use most often during March Madness?
What is Paula Dean's liquor of choice?
What does the alphabet wear around the house?
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
bra bra bra bra bra, eh, bra?
What does a duck get after he eats?
What did the duck order with his soup?
What did the baby chicken complain about after her big date?
Why was the teenage horse so mad?
What is cancer's favorite computer key?
What did the broken clock say to his son?
Why would Lebron James make a terrible Pornstar?
What President has the best gay porn name?
Why did the Keebler Elves go to jail?
Why did Celine Dion get out of jail?
What did the Canadian Prime Minister give the cowboy?
What is a cancer patient's favorite computer key?
What is an artist's favorite band?
What is a photographer's favorite food?
What did the old people give the skateboarders?
What computer key is Helen Hunt's least favorite?
Why didn't the basketball player get AIDS?
Does Dr. J drink coffee?
What is the only thing that Helen Hunt likes to do?
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
What happens when you put a bunch of pot smokers into a chatroom?
Who is Marlee Matlin's favorite hip hop artist?
Who is Marlee Matlin's favorite heavy metal band?
What type of award is given out to the "Dentist of the Year"?
What was the dentist's favorite type of sauce?
What is the ugly guitarist's favorite computer key?
What is a rabbit's favorite keyboard key?
What is a proctologist's favorite computer key?
What is Donald Trump's favorite animal to hunt?
What was the ice cube's favorite band?
Why did the punk rocker cross the road?
Why can't you get Helen Hunt to talk to you?
Why are blondes so easy?
What are Mario and Luigi's overalls made out of?
What's Pirates of the Caribbean rated?
What do toilet paper and the original Star Trek have in common?
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?
Why is Helen Keller's couch wet?
How do you fuck with Helen Keller?
Why is it great to date homeless chicks?
Why is it easier to unload a truckload of dead babies than a truckload of bricks?
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball?
Why didn't JFK Jr take a shower before his flight?
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
What did the hippy say when the acid wore off?
How do you hide money from a hippy?
Why does E.T. like Reese's pieces?
What's the longest word in the dictionary?
Where did the astronaut meet his computer keyboard wife?
How did the critics react to Walt Disney's penis?
What new wave band was in Under Siege?
What did the Asian prostitute say to the Cardinals player?
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, we got a drink named after you."
A little boy on Halloween was dressed as a pirate. The first house he went to, the lady opened the door and said "Awww, how cute. But where are your buccaneers?"
What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep?
What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your wall?
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean?
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves?
What do women and dog turds have in common?
What did 50 Cent say to his Grandma while knitting?
Why don't women wear watches?
What's the difference between fedoras and tampons??
How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
Why did Lady Gaga have two black eyes?
How is man like spider?
Why wasn't the rapper allowed in the restaurant?
Did you hear the one about the cow jumping over the barb wire fence?
What is a computer's favorite movie?
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
What do you take to Uranus?
What is a planet's favorite electronica band?
What's a nazi's least favorite planet?
What happened to the Alien who stole candy?
Why doesn't the Dog Star laugh at any jokes?
What music do astronauts listen to in space?
Good Cop: Lets you go with a warning for speeding.
Good Cop: Has seventy five percent conviction rate when he builds a criminal case.
Good Cop: Gives the streaker a ticket for indecent exposure.
Good Cop: Visits the widow of his old partner.
Good Cop: Wants to rise to the top of the force.
Good Cop: Listens to both sides of the story before he sends anyone to the big house..
Good Cop: Trains to be the toughest cop in the county and catch all the perps.
Which planet is the best rock vocalist?
Why did Uranus really like going to karaoke with his neighbor?
What is the Internet's favorite animal?
What is the Internet's favorite arachnid?
What is Alanis Morissette's favorite state?
What is Lindsay Lohan's favorite state?
What did the complimentary mormon call herself?
Your mom is so old she's at the museum.
I can't believe Utah is the name of a state.
What did God say to Joseph Smith?
What did the rageaholic say in Salt Lake City?
What is a pedophile's favorite university?
What do Jesus and Nicole Ritchie have in common?
Why did Casey Anthony kill Caylee?
What do you call a Nazi in a ridiculous pointy hat?
What's worse than a lobster on your piano?
Why was Dan Uggla able to kill James Bond?
What’s the difference between love, true love and showing off?
What do you call a ball hit to the left of Derek Jeter?
Who performs at a Whale Symphony?
Who do you go to when you need to buy a house in Hollywood?
What was the iron's favorite song?
How did Bush justify the invasion of Iraq?
Why was the anal lawyer from the '90s frustrated while trying to communicate with a client?
How can you visit the jungle without leaving your computer?
How do you make Helen Keller angry?
Why did Karl Marx say that the USSR was lazy?
What's the Count of Monte Cristo's favorite computer key?
What's Bugs Bunny's favorite computer key?
What's a plumber's favorite computer key?
What's the old guy's favorite keyboard shortcut?
Why did Ke$ha sleep with 10 dudes?
What's the dubstep fan's favorite organization?
What do you call a man with a shovel?
What do you call a man without a shovel?
What's the drug addict's favorite computer key?
Why'd the Spanish keyboard wait up all night for her kids to in?
What do you call an English Dinosaur?
What was the night elf's first impression of Orgrimmar?
Where did the Draenei go after eating Taco Bell?
What does a night elf priestess turn into for a few days every month?
What World of Warcraft race uses the Internet the most?
Why are merchants in World of Warcraft so greedy?
What creature solves crimes in World of Warcraft?
In World of Warcraft, why is The Barrens so dirty?
What did the Boomkin do when he lost all his artwork?
What do you call a Tauren who's "shaking hands with his best friend"?
How does a Warlock best learn?
In World of Warcraft, why are Taurens so bad at poker?
In World of Warcraft, what part-time job do paladins have when they're in high school?
Why can't WoW characters go out in the rain?
What do rogues and noobs have in common?
How many Paladins does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How'd the hipster burn his mouth?
My girlfriend has started using one of those sensitive toothpastes.
What do you call a Wookie who follows Judaism?
What happens when a red and white X-Wing crashes into green water?
Where can you find Star Wars for half off?
What is the name of the ocean next to China?
What was Hitler's reaction when Jesse Owens won 4 gold medal?
Why are Tauren vacuums the best in Azeroth?
A revisionist historian walks into a bar...
What is the difference between a bull and a cow?
What's the difference between sex and death?
What is brown and sounds like a bell?
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
What's brown and sticky?
What is a cat's favorite key on the VCR?
What is R. Kelly's favorite computer key?
What was Amy Winehouse's biggest hit?
What is the amputee's favorite state?
What's the saddest Journey song?
What insect flies at the lowest altitude?
What happened to the thundercloud after it got arrested?
Where do criminal rocks face justice?
Which part of the microscope gets wet fastest?
How does it make you feel to turn over a big flat rock?
Why was the early bird arrested for taking the worm?
What was the cool new sign outside of Borders?
What's the wackiest protist???
What's the difference between a 5 yr old and a chair?
What do you call a cow you can sit on?
What is the proctologist's favorite state?
What is the actor's favorite candy?
What is a nazi's least favorite beverage?
What is an amoeba's favorite gadget?
What do actors take for seasickness?
What was the adulterer's favorite snack?
What is the devil's favorite state?
What was the insect's favorite Midwestern city?
What was the owl's favorite 90's band?
What is a hostage's favorite computer key?
What did Frank Oz do when Jim Henson died?
What was the puppet's girlfriend's name?
Why was the puppet grumpy?
What is a nyctophobic's favorite computer key?
What was the scientist's favorite Muppet?
What is an owl's favorite 2000s band?
What is owl's favorite band from the 1960s?
What is massage therapist's favorite band?
What's owl's favorite Twitter client?
What did Syl say when he got a comb for his birthday?
What's the first rule of Fight Club?
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadillac?
How is eucharist like a dick?
What do you call a sleeping bull?
What's the difference between a Hummer and a hard-on?
What's the difference between Jesus and hookers?
What's the difference between your wife and fast food?
What's the difference between the US men's soccer team and a duck?
How many US women's soccer players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What do David Beckham and Highway 1 have in common?
What did the father's day greeting say to the mother's day greeting?
What did the dehydrated Nigerian say to to his father?
What do you get when you combine a British schoolboy and a polar bear?
What is a hipster's favorite movie?
Where do computers go when they're sad?
Why did the computer lose all its memory?
What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?
If two wrongs don't make a write then what do two rights make?
What do you get when you kick a baby down the stairs?
What do you tell a woman who has two black eyes?
Why did Helen Keller’s dog commit suicide?
How do you stop a baby from crying?
How do you tell if a cyclops has a lazy eye?
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What do maggots and Alabama fans have in common?
What's the difference between a porcupine and Neyland Stadium (Univ of Tennessee)?
How do you know Bobby Cox's wife is from the South?
Why did the computer get glasses?
Why couldn't LeBron James buy a soda?
What's an autistic child's favorite movie?
What do Woody Allen and Kodak have in common?
How do dinosaurs communication?
What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?
What's the best thing about fucking thirty three year olds?
Why were "Method Man Brand Codoms" unsucessful?
What do you do with sailboats in Oregon?
What do you call getting fired in hell?
What is the worst thing you can hear while blowing Willie Nelson?
What do you call an underwater pig?
If I went on Conan O'Brien and advocated same sex marriages what would happen to me?
Napoleon: What is this about non-intervention?
The older I get, the faster I was.
If I had to choose, I would rather have birds than airplanes.
Brandy...is a kind of slow poison.
Alienation is a form of living death. It is the acid of despair that dissolves society.
It is not wise to form an alliance with a prince that has more reputation than power.
He that strives to touch the stars, Oft stumbles at a straw.
"What is seeking to emerge from this challenge right now? Can you feel it or are you stuck in the problem?"
Wow, just had an explosion of intense energy here -- first my ex re the kids + school, then Alex re the goats. Breathing ..
What do you get if you cross a Jew?
What do you call someone who steps on a Cherio?
What's a monkey's favorite movie?
What do a space shuttle and a fetus have in common?
What is the hardest key to get off of your keychain?
Why did the monkey's friends stop inviting him over for dinner?
Where does a Jew buy his cologne?
Which perfume would Jesus die for?
What's the difference between cancer and the government?
What did Ernie say when his friend asked if he wanted some Ice Cream?
Where do you go online to get a restored light fixture from WWII?
Why were all the guest's at the shitty comedian's party so sober?
How can you tell a giant fire breathing mythical beast is tired?
Why were all the guests at the shitty comedian's party so drunk?
What's a gay boxer's favorite drink?
Who is a mathematician's favorite rapper?
What do you get when you cross an intersection and a runway?
How did Muhammed Ali react to Joe Frazier's untimely death?
What's the difference between Jesus and Jon Benet Ramsey?
What do abortions and video games have in common?
Who stinks even more than Ricky Martin?
What Latina pop-star ran out of candy?
What is Mario's favorite seat?
What does Princess Peach poop?
What do Nintendo characters smoke weed with?
Why are the Angry Birds so angry?
What video game do you play in the bathroom?
What is an astronaut's favorite candy?
Why did Sally Ride break up with her boyfriend?
Why did computer die?
What was the name of the computer’s art teacher in elementary school?
How does a computer get to another planet while eating a bowl of cereal?
Why did a series of revolving blades supplying air wait all night outside the Apple store?
Which computer does McDonalds use to keep track of all those burgers?
What is a computer’s favorite genre of music?
What did the evil computer use to stop James Bond?
Why did the processor go to the gym?
What is the hipster programmer's favorite thing to do in the bathroom?
What is Usain Bolt's favorite sorting algorithm?
What is Bubble Man from Mega Man 2's favorite sorting algorithm?
If you spend all your time playing the Xbox, what is the highest achievement you can accomplish?
What is Sonic the Hedgehog's favorite fast food restaurant?
What does a gamer call his crib?
How did the gamer embarrass himself using Craigslist?
Why did the Occupy movement call on kids to march into a night club?
How is Super Mario racist against Italian-Americans?
What do you call Mexicans who don't do anything?
Why do flies never come back from near death experiences?
What do you get when you cross a motorcycle with an SUV?
When did the procrastinating ghost say he would get all his work done?
Why did the New York City Health Department shut down the Entomologist’s office?
Why was Kenneth Parcell from 30 Rock fired from the bookstore?
Why did the pirate go to a bookstore after he lost his left hand at sea?
What did Gloria Cain give Herman Cain for Christmas 2011?
What does Santa not like talking about with Mrs. Claus?
What's the blood sucking parasite that ruins everything?
Of all the 2011 GOP Presidential hopefuls, who has the most money?
Why did Rick Perry never invite any of the other GOP Presidential hopefuls on a hunting trip?
Which Obama staffer is right at home in a circus?
What's the difference between fat chicks and bricks?
What does computer do at night?
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
What is vampire favorite thing to drink?
Why does the hundred dollar bill have so much time on its hands?
What is money’s drug of choice?
How much does money cost?
How many push ups does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What is pervert's favorite part of laptop?
What does pervert do with computer file?
What is pedophile's favorite computer hackers?
What did 50 Cent say to the woman with yarn?
Why did the little kid drop his ice cream?
What was the North Korean dictator’s wrestling alter ego’s stage name?
How many North Koreans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What day is the best day to see the movie Horrible Bosses?
What is fish's least favorite thing to do on a computer?
there was a man he goes to a bar and there is a jar of money so the man asked the bar tender what it was for he says you do 3 dares and i will give you the money first drink 3 bottles of hot sauce without crying or making any facial expressions then there
what happends when a blonde hears u got mail on her laptop
What did one snowman say to the other?
Why does whale do cocaine?
what did the bellybutton do to the other?
What did the poop say to the other in a wrestling match?
Whats a prisoners favorite key?
what did the penis say to the other?
poopoopoopoopoo
How does a Jew make his tea?
What a fish smoke?
How do you know if there is a vegan in the room?
What was Uncle Joey's favorite meal on Full House?
What's the difference between Coke and myself?
Who's the hot guy who invented the world wide web?
Why do obese women love God so much?
What do you call a gypsy punk rock band from the lower east side of Manhattan on the Internet?
What is the worst way to say hello on the internet?
Why did the God of Poodles sue the search engine giant?
What looks like an elephant's head and smells like elephant shit?
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
What does Apollo 13 have in common with the 2012 Grammy's?
why did the concentration camp scientist stir ashes into water?
What do sentient machines get when they die?
What does baseball player get at bar?
Why is David Wright's baseball cap like a clitoris?
What do the Rockies and possums have in common?
What's the difference between Mets fans and babies?
What is a Braves fan's favorite whine?
What part of a tree plays basketball?
What did Air Bud name is kid?
What is Charles Barkley's favorite fruit preserve?
What is a cat's favorite thing to do?
Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout?
What do Joseph Kony and the London marathon have in common?
Why did Barbie dump Ken?
What does Commander Riker eat for breakfast?
What dog smells the worst?
What is dog's favorite letter and number?
What sandwich is out of date?
What state has the most butts?
Why was Marc Antony smitten with Cleopatra?
Why did the chicken cross the road, this week only during the Kia sales event of the Spring?
What happens when you leave yogurt in the hip startup's refrigerator for too long?
What happens when you leave Greek yoghurt in the refrigerator too long?
What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage?
What kind of candy is internet funny?
Who was the best Beatle?
What separated the men from the boys in Ancient Greece?
What is the internet's favorite time?
What do you get when you play Game Boy too long on the toilet?
What does Tony the Tiger say about wine?
What is long and hard but can't get up?
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Why are vegetarians' houses so dark?
Who is the most powerful amphibian in England?
What do you call a wine shop at the Five Points station?
Why is the photograph on trial?
What do the Hunger Games and my dick have in common?
What do you call all the Congress folks who try to introduce anti-internet legislation?
Why does the lion think the circus a bureaucracy?
Why do eskimos drink so much?
Have you ever had duck soup?
Why does the monkey never call before he visits?
Who serves the monkeys at the renaissance festival?
What did the rocker monkey have all over his arms?
What happened when Monkey visited the other monkeys?
Why does everybody always take advantage of lollipops?
What do you get when you mix Skittles and M&Ms?
What did the shoe fanatic buy at the candy store?
Which candy never gets fully digested?
Why did M. Dash stay away from the hash?
Why are there always fences around graveyards?
What's the boxer's favorite kind of candy?
What's the wino's favorite kind of candy?
How is Wrigley's gum like Andy Dick?
What's the redneck clown's favorite candy?
What candy are you bound to find at a software company?
What's Tarzan's favorite flavor of Jolly Rancher?
What's black and white and blue all over?
What web app was the avian sweet tooth crazy about?
How do British people transport DVDs of the hit television show House?
What's an investor's favorite computer key?
Who's the worst viking prostitute?
Why didn't the Nickelback fan go to the Nickelback show?
What planet loves to sing Bohemian Rhapsody?
What planet is missing its arms?
What's the unhappiest planet?
What's the most animated planet?
What's Cliff Claven's favorite movie?
What is Justice Sandra Day O'connor's favorite movie?
Why did the dentist skip the awards show?
What happened when the couple bought a new water bed?
What do you call the rapping triplet mind readers on the starship Enterprise?
What's black and white but never scores?
What's plump and spherical, gets kicked around, and seems oblivious to goals?
What's black and white and red all over?
What did the soccer ball say to the soccer field?
What do Michael Jackson's songs have in common with his victims?
Why did the soap addict stop using?
Why couldnt the skelaton add 1+1?
What kind of bird always sticks together?
What's the feminist's favorite movie?
What's like a fax machine?
How can you score a 301 in bowling?
Why r cats scared of trees
Why was the math book sad
What kind of tables do math teachers use
What do Braves players give their kids to play with during games?
What do you say when the Braves left-fielder drops a fly ball?
Why does the Braves leadoff man run so fast?
Why is it called Nick's Food To Go?
Why did the wine enthusiast go to see the priest?
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
Why did Iron Man cry?
Why did Loki have a bad day?
Who is Thor's favorite rapper?
What was the drummer's favorite kind of birth control?
What was the camera man's favorite kind of birth control?
What does Dolly Parton call her non-fat latte?
What was Michael Jackson's favorite kind of birth control?
Who tells the worst knock knock jokes?
What was the cats favorite kind of birth control?
What is a fanboy's favorite kind of birth control?
What was June Carter's favorite kind of birth control?
What did the recliner say to the sofa bed when they were in an argument?
What do you call well dressed religious nutjobs who hate women and gay people?
Why did the wary boyfriend finally agree to see the period film?
Why was the engineer sad to leave?
Why was the cowboy morose in the city?
knock knock
Why was the barista resigned to work at the coffee shop?
what do you call a fish with whiskers
What is a sofa bed's favorite birth control?
What was Clarissa from Clarissa Explains It All's favorite form of birth control?
I like my women like I like my coffee...
What is Warren Buffett's favorite Pink Floyd song?
Nickelback walked into a bar...
Shortest joke in history...
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
What is a doctor's favorite computer file extension?
Why didn't the computer's car start?
What is a star's favorite snack?
What is a star's favorite drink?
How did the founder of CNN feel about his divorce?
Why was Michael the lead off hitter for the Braves?
Where does Boy George go to party at night?
What's a cow's favorite day?
Why did the hipster dump his girlfriend?
Why did the hipster dump his girlfriend?
What did the hoe ask to the other hoe?
What is a box's favorite sport?
What is a rapper's favorite thing to do at Christmas time?
What's Rodney King's favorite poker hand?
What do Jerry Sandusky and SPAM have in common?
Why doesn't God like country music?
Why doesn't Arnold Schwarzenegger like Chilean Sea Bass?
What did gay Paul Reveere say?
What's worse than 9/11?
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?
What did the cat get when it scored a 300 in bowling?
What is Bob Saget's favorite poker hand?
How much does a Hipster weigh?
Why was the baby pig in a bad mood?
Why was the pig looking for something to do?
What does a drunk walrus have in common with a woman at a tupperware party?
Why was the corny dad happy that his joke greeting card got lots of groans?
Why doesn't Amy Whinehouse like toast?
why did richard have his hand under the table
why do people go to the toilet?
why doesn't Amy Whinehouse like cheese?
why doesn't Amy Whinehouse like chicken nuggets?
Why is the mushroom invited to all the parties?
How many atheists does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
What stand up comedian barks all the time?
What does a pirate use for music?
Which presidential candidate is a Ferengi?
What was the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
What do you call a Norwegian that's the object of a sentence?
What did the Pueblos try before Adobe?
How did Eli celebrate his super bowl win?
Why did Jersey Shore get cancelled?
How do you know if someone has the iphone 5?
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Why couldn't the skeptic catch a runaway convict?
What did the bride say when her groom didn't show up for the wedding?
Where is Macaulay Culkin right now?
Have you heard the new jokes about Coca-Cola?
What clothing does a house wear?
What do you call a bad drummer?
What is a computer's favorite food?
What is a computer's favorite TV show?
What is a mathematician's favorite TV show?
What's purple and commutes?
Where does one find the largest cologne in the world?
What did the actor say when they broke their arm?
What is the CEO's favorite thing to sit on?
What do women and rocks have in common?
Why was Keeping Up with the Cardassians cancelled?
What do you call a prehistoric lemon?
What do you call a prehistoric bruise?
What do Alexander the Great, Henry the VIIIth, and Ivan the Terrible all have in common?
What kind of link will entice a click and disappoint you afterwards?
What's the loudest morning beverage?
Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?
What do the signs say in the Aluetian Islands?
What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby?
What's the shittiest planet?
Knock knock. Who's there? Planet.
What did the Alabama fan say to his sister?
What did the Tire say to the Nail?
What does a condom have in common with a hotdog?
What was the dolphin's favorite programming language?
What was the oyster's favorite programming language
What did the programmer say when he went to Starbucks?
A byte walks into a bar. The bar tender asks, "What's wrong?". The byte says, "Parity error." The bartender says,
Why are turds tapered at the end?
What did the zero say to the eight?
What was the programmer's reaction to a repo he didn't agree with?
What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Where do Floridians wash their clothes?
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
What do you call an egg telling a joke?
What is the favorite thing that a fire fighter likes to fight?
Why does daniel love jokels
What kind of socks do pirates like to wear?
Why was the taco sad?
What's an Irishman's favorite math?
What's the difference between a practical joke and a temperature?
What do you have if you hold one green ball in one hand and another green ball in the other hand?
Mr. T has added more anti-oxidants to his diet ...
What do you call an awesome communist?
What happens when Mary Ann makes the wrong kind of cookies?
How do you organize a space party?
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What is the porn star's favorite sorting algorithm?
Who was the uncoolest kid at Dino High?
What is worst sausage?
What's the difference between a groundhog and a prairie dog?
Why is the opossum bad in bed?
Jesus walks into my house and leaves the door open...
Why did the indian not think it was a good idea?
Knock Knock. Who's there? 9-11. 9-11 who?
What did the chimp say to the macaque?
What's an Old World Monkey's favorite movie?
Who manned the African monasteries during the Medieval period?
Why did the monkey take a shit in the ocean?
What brand of jetski runs on shit?
Why was the prisoner always right?
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs thrown out of an airplane while peeing?
What does a hot dog salesman do when he's having a good time?
What did the cowboy say to the extremely tall Mormon?
What's worse than moving the Jazz from New Orleans to Utah?
What did the creepy uncle say in his basement?
What did the camel eat for breakfast?
Why didn't the John pay the hooker?
What do you get if a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?
What's brown and sticky?
What did Obi Wan say to Luke Skywalker at dinner?
What did Tony the Tiger say about non-frosted flakes?
What do you call a deer without eyes?
What's the difference between a duck?
What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing cellophane pants?
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
What do you call an egg telling a joke?
What did the complimentary Mormon call herself?
What do you eat in a court of law?
Why do all the pimps stay in Florida?
How did the pimp respond when his mom said "You horrible"?
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
How much does a paradigm shift cost?
What did Cher do in highschool?
Did you hear about that time Auntie Flo went to the football game?
How much does an alpaca smoke on average?
What's a cheerleader's favorite type of dog?
What was the fart's favorite Cranberries song?
Where are all farts "silent but deadly"
Go big or go home?
What is a meteor's favorite Full House character?
What did Napoleon's estranged wife say to him?
What did the moss say to the rock?
What is owl's favorite song?
How long does a vampire maid work for?
What is the guy who made PayPal, SpaceX, and Tesla Motor's favorite movie?
What was the short French dictator's name after the suicide bombing?
What did the alien say to the Coke bottle?
What did the stripper say to the Native American Cheiftan?
Why don't you need toilet paper if you're in France?
Jimmy, you were a big man, you had the girls, you were the best
What's green and tells a lot of lies?
What is earthquake's favorite keyboard key?
What is bisexual's favorite keyboard key?
What is dominatrix's favorite keyboard key?
What did Yoko find on her bed?
How did the I.T. guy fix the blue tooth mouse?
Why did the dinosaur explode?
What did the librarian do at five'o'clock?
Where does the book eat dinner?
How much does a bad joke weigh?
Why did Boy George like the jungle strip club?
What do you call a european janitor on his birthday?
Why did the cheetah eat lots of iron?
Where did the cheetah buy his new shoes?
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
How do you know when you're drunk?
What did the alcoholic say when he got lost in the desert?
Why did sofa girl take out Z boy to dinner?
What comes before part B?
What do you call Paris Hilton in a book store?
Whose "parents just don't understand" his porn career?
What do you call Bill Cosby with a gold tooth?
What happened when Denise Huxtable lost her squirrel?
What happened when Alf drank to much?
Why did the lion become a tax collector?
Where do vampires have to go when they get arrested?
What is a goats favorite soap opera?
What is Colin Powell's favorite Soap Opera?
What was the patriotic goat's favorite movie?
What is sheep's favorite country?
What is Taco Bell's favorite 90s tv show?
What has 2 legs and kills women?
What happened when the 2x4 played to much World of Warcraft?
what do you suck into your mouth and you want icecream
What do you call a pitbull that is curled up asleep?
What happened when Lassie put on her makeup and heels?
What happened when Richard Gere was assimilated by the Internet?
What did the baseball manager say to his employees?
What did the internet monster do in the bathroom?
What is a dog's favorite cocktail?
What was the pedophile's favorite cocktail?
What is the House of Winterfell's official cocktail?
What does a mason drink at a fancy party?
What do you call a punk who makes their own beer?
Why did the man love his half pooped turd?
What type of drink did the self-absorbed narcissistic guy order at Ru Sans?
What did one bike wheel say to the other?
What does a dinosaur do when it sleeps?
What were the symptoms of the dinosaur's syphilis?
What do you call a T-Rex that can bench press 2 tons?
What do you call a T-rex with glasses?
What do you call a T-rex in your bed?
What do you call a fat dinosaur?
What do you call a dinosaur that cusses a lot?
What do you get if you mix a dinosaur and a unicorn?
What kind of dinosaur ponders its own existence?
What do you get when a dinosaur crashes their car?
Never, ever...
What is the best time to eat Mexican food?
What was the time traveling outlaw found guilty of?
What flavor would jokel brand chips be?
Why didn't the woman like her waiter?
Why did the dog HATE the mail?
Why does the Chinaman always get a salad when he orders noodles at the restaurant?
How much does a hipster weigh?
What do you call ZZ Top without beards?
Did you hear about the mime who killed a girl?
What happens to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson when he's out of shape?
What did the crow say when he looked in the toilet?
What kind of music does Zack, the cow, really like?
Why can't cows work in diners?
Who is the shittiest kid doctor on TV?
What's the shittiest video game?
What do David Carradine and Margaret Thatcher have in common?
Did you hear about the new Tampax movie?
What's the best thing about pooping outside?
What's a pirate's favorite plant holiday?
Did you hear about the disease that makes your back invisible?
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You remember the nerds in Flashdance?
You know how I know Levi Strauss be smokin' weed?
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
If Chrissy has 500 friends on Facebook one week, and then adds 150 the next week, then what does she have?
If Chrissy has 500 friends on Facebook one week, and then adds 150 the next week, then what does she have?
If Chrissy has 500 friends on Facebook one week, and then adds 150 the next week, then what does she have?
What did the girl say after getting the same birthday card 3 years in a row with a picture of a sweater on it?
What do you eat after smoking weed and banging?
What's a four letter word in Italian for goodbye?
What is Sean Connery's favorite blog?
Why did the man become a fisherman?
What was the Donner Party's favorite meal?
How did the lemonade lose the boxing match?
What did the Llama say before his vacation?
What's purple and throbbing?
Where do you take your mildly sick pig?
How many clowns does it take to change a light bulb?
What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin?
Why does Ms. Melon have to have a big wedding?
What's white and works overtime?
What do you get when you combine the movies "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and "Backdraft"?
What did the Apple employee get when he started working at Steve Inc?
Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
Who is Poison Ivy's favorite singer?
what jokes are not funny
What do you call a fake doctor with a sense of humor?
What did the doctor tell the vegetarian who was in a coma?
What do you call a shorter presidential override?
What do you get when you throw guacamole into a volcano?
What do you call someone who is only attracted to United Arab Emirate urbanites?
Why won't Han Solo work on the front end of his web application?
What do apes drink in space?
Have you met the nerdy bird of prey?
What do you call a bee in a sweater?
Why did the eel wreck his car after eating his wife?
What is Barnes and Noble's social network that nobody uses?
What does a proctologist look into when bowels be tripping balls?
What's red and climbs trees?
Which president had the best professional network?
Which terrorist organization specifically targets cats?
How do you get down off an elephant?
Why don't passengers like being redirected onto goods train loops?
What Happen to the man whose left hand and left foot got cut of?
How do you describe an Indian meatball?
why did the hipster burn his tounge
Whom was it first gave fraternities to mankind?
Why's the sapling always acting up?
Why do wizards wear gloves?
your heads so big...
Why don't butterflies have a president?
Who is the president at the petting zoo?
What is the difference between Elliot Rodger and an egg?
Why did the Alpaca get beat up?
Why can't ghosts tell lies?
I know a place where theres millions of ties.
Why was the free electron so sad?
Why did the hamster get a ticket?
What did the rancher's mom put on his birthday cake?
I just ate 4 cans of alphabet soup.
How many army men does it take to change a lightbulb?
Why do teenage girls travel in odd numbers?
why is 6 afraid of 7?
How do you make a Malaysian girl wet?
Why do ISIS stoves work so well?
Why did the sheriff arrest the man in the paper towel hat?
What brand of sunglasses do horses prefer?
Why did the cannon go to the singles bar?
Why did the entrepreneur rip the sleeves off of his blazer?
what kind of girls like to be hit on?
did you hear about the brain surgeon?
how do you date something that is already dead?
How did the apes save their marriage?
Mellow and Sierra were two of the best hacky sackers around. They were able to keep 6 hacky sacks in the air but when they had...
What does a church and a laser gun have in common?
How do you know if an email is about fried beans?
What do you call a fruit that is really rare and beautiful yet tastes bad?
What do my best cats have in common
Whatever you do don't
Why did Destin's parents name him Destin?
why don't plumbers drink a lot of water?
Why did Jon Snow wait in line for 16 hours outside the Apple store?
What's the pirate's favorite cartoon?
What do you call a pirate in a laundry mat?
What is black and white and red all over
What is black and white and red all over
What is black and white and red all over
What is black and white and red all over
What is black and white and red all over
How do you think the unthinkable?
What's Quentin Tarantino's worst time of day?
Why won't the parrot participate in the jungle recycling program?
Why did the rooster go to the salon?
Why did the man clean up the car's poop?
What's black and doesn't work?
what is green and smells like a pig
Did you hear about the peephole they found in the Cherokee Casino?
What do Theon Greyjoy and Justin Timberlake have in common?
How does Ygritte know that it's almost winter?
What does Varys envy most about Petyr Baelish?
How do you upset Prince Oberyn?
Why did Cersei order the Starks direwolf to be executed?
Why can't George RR Martin use twitter?
Why is Ygritte so immature?
What was Jaime Lannister’s favourite shows growing up?
What is the name of the Starks’ upcoming Christmas special?
What is the nickname of Jon Snow’s girlfriend and also a useful wintertime tool?
What was Jon Snow’s bakery called?
What do you call a rich Chinese man
What do you call a christmas cat with freshly washed paws?
What do you call a northern European with a sweet tooth?
What do you get when you buy a glass of water?
Why did your dad go to the hair salon?
What did the mouse say too the rat when the mouse took a picture?
What do you use to cut wood?
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where does a Men's Rights Activist get his water?
What is the most adorable frontier?
Who is the most modestly priced & delicious Disney princess?
You hear about my new band "The Mattress Kings"?
What does a lovelorn person say to a hunky letter carrier?
Why is 6 scared of 7?
Real one - why is 6 scared of 7
Why did the golfer bring several pairs of pants?
What black and white and red all over?
Matty is weird?
Goo goo?
You are...?
You are...
You are...
After visiting the White House Donald Trump is excited to move in.
What did Z say to N?
Did you hear about the new show where doctors barely touch their patients?
What do you call it when you make a jackal have kids with a pumpkin
Why is the password offended by capital letters?
How much memory did the sexy robot need for its sexy sex maneuvers?
What is black and white and red all over
Why did Ned Stark come in a box?
What did the orangutan call his wife
The longest white snake, I lay coiled The shorter brown snakes travel first I'm always a touch behind. What am I?
What do you call a bear that is in water
what do you get when you wach a horror film
2 DD
Why do elephants eat peanuts?
What's a ghost pirates favorite drink?
How does Jesus make his tea
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
What's the best thing about Indoor Skydiving?
why I hit big bally
why don't ballerinas dance so long
What types of candys go to school
What types of candys go to school
whats the worst thing?
Why was the baseball player sad?
Why did the store do a lot of multiplication?
the doctor said "you have a magnesium deficiency"
What is grey and can not fly?

All jokes