@baileyjohn (via Twitter)
@baileyjohn's jokes
- What's the difference between an owl and a chicken?
- Why did the chicken cross the road?
- How many bald fat guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- Why did Paris Hilton have sex with a chicken?
- What did Jake Gyllenhaal say to his sister on her wedding day?
- What's an owl's favorite restaurant?
- What's black and white and red all over?
- What do you call a poet that died?
- What does an alcoholic use to keep his ears warm?
- What's the difference between Sarah Palin and a brick?
- What is a dubstep fan's favorite sport?
- How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- What do you call an employee that works as hard as a manager?
- Why did Sarah Palin whisper at the pharmacy?
- What's the difference between Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston?
- How can you tell an email is from Sarah Palin?
- What's the difference between mice and men?
- When can a newly pregnant mother first expect the baby to move?
- What do you call a man that knows everything?
- How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?
- What does customer service have to do with Richard Gere sticking a hamster up his butt?
- How can you tell that a man isn't having sex?
- How is a musician like a sperm?
- Which bird was in Under Siege?
- What is a jewish baker's favorite martial art?
- Why is oil so offensive?
- How do poor carnival folk afford to live?
- What's a cool cat?
- If there's a stairway to heaven, how to you go down?
- What does the alphabet use to cut wood?
- What game do kids play during recess these days?
- What's a mathemetician's favorite day of the week?
- Why does Sarah Palin never worry about getting into a car accident?
- Why did the 18th century prisoner not believe the guard?
- Why did the two old friends stay for so long at the steakhouse?
- Why does Sarah Palin always have her press conferences just before lunch?
- When Sarah Palin got a paper cut, why did she hold her watch up to it?
- What was the dog food company's incredibly inappropriate slogan?
- What's the best way to get rid of gnats?
- How many characters from the hit show Glee does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- What's a pirate's favorite Greek American syndicated collumnist and editor?
- What kind of balloon animal did the sex clown make with an inflated condom?
- How did the fisherman from the North American Great Lakes identify the fish without even looking at it?
- What's a nazi's least favorite month?
- What is a gamefish's favorite sport?
- How does yarn reconcile quantum mechanics and general relativity?
- What is a heroin addict's favorite computer key?
- What is a race car driver's other favorite computer key?
- What is a wizard's favorite computer key to use when he's trying to keep somebody from reading his roll of parchment???
- What is a pornographer's favorite computer key?
- Which computer keys does a gambler use most often during March Madness?
- What is Paula Dean's liquor of choice?
- What does the alphabet wear around the house?
- What was the name of the computer’s art teacher in elementary school?
- How does a computer get to another planet while eating a bowl of cereal?
- Why did a series of revolving blades supplying air wait all night outside the Apple store?
- Which computer does McDonalds use to keep track of all those burgers?
- What is a computer’s favorite genre of music?
- If you spend all your time playing the Xbox, what is the highest achievement you can accomplish?
- What does a gamer call his crib?
- How did the gamer embarrass himself using Craigslist?
- Why did the Occupy movement call on kids to march into a night club?
- How is Super Mario racist against Italian-Americans?
- Why do flies never come back from near death experiences?
- What do you get when you cross a motorcycle with an SUV?
- When did the procrastinating ghost say he would get all his work done?
- Why did the New York City Health Department shut down the Entomologist’s office?
- Why was Kenneth Parcell from 30 Rock fired from the bookstore?
- Why did the pirate go to a bookstore after he lost his left hand at sea?
- What did Gloria Cain give Herman Cain for Christmas 2011?
- Why did Rick Perry never invite any of the other GOP Presidential hopefuls on a hunting trip?
- Which Obama staffer is right at home in a circus?
- Why does the hundred dollar bill have so much time on its hands?
- What is money’s drug of choice?
- How much does money cost?
- How many push ups does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- What was the North Korean dictator’s wrestling alter ego’s stage name?
- How many North Koreans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- What do you call a gypsy punk rock band from the lower east side of Manhattan on the Internet?
- What is the worst way to say hello on the internet?
- Why did the God of Poodles sue the search engine giant?
- Why does the monkey never call before he visits?
- Who serves the monkeys at the renaissance festival?
- What did the rocker monkey have all over his arms?
- What happened when Monkey visited the other monkeys?
- Why does everybody always take advantage of lollipops?
- What do you get when you mix Skittles and M&Ms?
- What did the shoe fanatic buy at the candy store?
- Which candy never gets fully digested?
- What do Braves players give their kids to play with during games?
- What do you say when the Braves left-fielder drops a fly ball?
- Why does the Braves leadoff man run so fast?
- Why is it called Nick's Food To Go?
- How do you know when you're drunk?
@baileyjohn's favorite jokes
@baileyjohn doesn't have any favorite jokes.
